speak
and taste the saltiness
of your words,
rolling off your tounge
but they aren’t your own
kiss her
and taste the sweetness
of the honey on her lips
but it doesn’t belong to her
listen carefully
to the sounds your body makes
when you’re sleeping
to your blood flowing
it’s the only part of you
that’s real
purple migraine dizziness
visions bursting
tapping at my skull
oh majesty
oh royalty
i’m the color of bruises
i’d kill you
if it just meant i could
have relief
velvet mountain sky
silent sisters
damned lovers
crescents in her eyes
i followed her
up the stairs
early morning
dancing
liveliness
she’s an illusion
emerging from hallucinations
you must get help
we are running out
of time
I didn’t catch her name
well, it’s someone else’s name
oh mirror mirror
lines on glass
tell me what you saw
oh if walls could tell secrets
tell me i’m not crazy
she’s a temptress
an empress, an enchantress,
a witch
the darkness i live in
took to the sky like a raven
and you’ll never see her again
maybe in your vaguest dreams
she’s getting closer now
breath smelling of whiskey
i can see scars on her ageless face
“do you want to kiss me?”
don’t forget what i told you
when you were on your last bit of rope
i’ll use these scarred feet to carry you
anywhere you want me to
every cut you make, i’ll heal
every tear you shed, i’ll feel
miles and mountains can separate
but they will never take you away
from me. the edge of the sky
is waiting for us, i’ll carry you home
surrounded by visions and crystal
keep them in your head
amethyst eyes and a diamond bed
this night will not be forgotten
she runs away, she cannot stay
sleeplessly wondering why
the flowers sway
if i could make her realize
there is so little time
to tell her i love her
i am not a rose
i am the thorns
i am not railroad tracks
i am the train
i am not rain
i am the storm
but i must hold her hand
so i don’t lose her memory
and sometimes i think
and forget to breathe
wishes are burns on skin
one for every candle blown out
and this time, there are fourteen
broken dishes scar the floor
one for every fake friend
and there are twenty one
flowers dead in a vase
one for each year wasted
she counted twenty-nine
open your stained glass window eyes
i look through your double mirrored soul
i am the part of your dreams that is forgotten
and comes back to you suddenly
how vulnerable we are in the cold
we don’t see the same stars anymore,
the clouds hide them away
and we don’t live under the same sun,
i am night and you are day.
my frostbitten hands grasp for something
to pull them close and keep them warm
but i only find pockets
and even they are worn
so i ask you to dust off your eyes with long lashes
free yourselves from frozen spells
burn fires down to the ashes
and pray for summers hot as hell
the sun is warm
but the wind is blowing cold
accent my hair with moonlight
and bring me through the rain again
I was caught in a shadow
that grabbed my ankles
and smiled at my grief
the way I cry in the mornings
the way I feel the wind wrap around my shoulders
like a shawl,
and the water
swallows me whole
I am not bigger than this town
I am not walking in a dream
but if I asked nicely
would you let me die painlessly?
if the sun
can scorch my skin
from 93 million miles
away,
maybe then
you and I aren’t
so far apart.
i don’t want to be comfortable
i don’t want to miss things anymore
i want to be cold
cold enough to know warmth
loved enough to know loneliness
it’ll be harder if you stay longer
but easier if you don’t go at all
i could taste ice on the edge
of my frozen tounge
and missed the candles that
melted the ice off my coat
but i don’t miss smiles and laughter
i need to know what it’s like to cry
i need to know what it’s like to be lied to
because i trust blindly
and i exhaust myself, trying
to be real, even if i fake
it harder, i’ll wait for you to stay
and i’ll wish that i’d been bolder
as the night turns colder
and your face is red, but you don’t cry
and i must learn how to feel
